I really should be. I think I give great advice despite the fact that no one follows my advice. Over the years I appear to have developed a reputation as someone that people feel they can talk to. I can honestly say that this was NOT something I cultivated..AT ALL and there were times when I wished people didn't seek me out to get advice from me.
This became very apparent to me at my last job. Our HR manager (former one especially) was hated by the employees...and I mean HATED by the employees. Because I was out on the floor so much with my job responsibilities and the employees knew that I worked closely with that department, people tended to confide in me, just about everything. There was truly very little that I didn't know about almost all the employees there. Personally and professionally. I knew everyone's secrets and it was empowering (in a "I can blackmail you" kind of way) and humbling in the fact that they trusted me to not only help them but in most instances, keep their confidences too. If I needed to involve someone else, like an outside agency, then I always told them that I was going to do that before I did it.
But I digress...I really don't like to give advice. But I know that my advice is respectful, insightful and does not fail to call people on their bullshit. I'm also very good at seeing both points of view and of seeing just how others see you as you describe a situation. Most importantly, I know what I don't know. If I cannot give you good advice on an issue, my advice will sound something like this "I don't know enough about that to give you good advice, perhaps someone who knows more about that issue would be better suited to advice you" OR "I just don't know".
Over the years I have given tons of advice (I would like to say that all the advice I give is ASKED for, it is unusual for me to give unsolicited advice unless I feel compelled to speak) to people. The minute someone turns to me and asks "What do you think?" it's on like a house on fire. But then they nod their heads in agreement and then do the exact OPPOSITE! I get the whole free will thing, certainly you are free to do as you please but don't ask for advice if you aren't even bothering to consider it! Nothing is more frustrating than to give advice, explain how the situation will play out should they fail to heed your advice and then stand back and watch what happens. I'm not one to say "I told you so..." but I will remind you of a previous conversation we had where we discussed the possible outcomes should you X or if you did X. If you ask me for advice and I give it, you can bet that it is solid advice and you would do well to heed my advice.
But if you choose not to take my advice, you should know I'm still here. Bad choices not withstanding, I'm still a good friend (and this time you had better take my advice!!)
Monday, August 19, 2013
Saturday, August 10, 2013
Dear Russia...
I'm sure that this is a little late in coming but congratulations on winning the 2014 Winter Olympics. Generally I enjoy watching the Olympics. I love to watch the Luge and bobsledders and sometimes the downhill skiers.
However, this year I won't be watching them. I wish I could do more to protest your lack of humanity towards gay people who live in your country. I also don't believe you when you say that gay athletes will be protected from current anti-gay laws in your country. I can't think of a time in recent Russian history except under the rule of Gorbachev, where gays have not been tormented but now you've turned it in to a law that says it's ok to harm people who are gay.
I'm not surprised that this type of action has been taken or that this type of action is being condoned by Russian leadership. The new Russia, its predecessor the USSR and prior to that Czarist Russia, all have well documented histories of genocides of people who fail to conform, either as individuals or whole segments of specific cultures. If people don't agree with us, it's "off with their heads"!
I'm not sure how all these incarnations of Russia have been able to survive this long without tearing itself apart...oh wait...they haven't. When you look at your history, you can see where the people that you have oppressed have risen up against you, violently, and made sweeping changes to the status quo. Admittedly, not all these changes have been good and most of them led to other, larger uprisings.
However, today the world is watching you. Activists from inside Russia, at much great danger to themselves are working diligently to show the world just what is going on inside Russia. They are being aided by activists outside Russia in ensuring that pressure is brought to bear not only on Russia but on the International Olympic Committee to ensure that gay athletes are not incarcerated because of this ignorant law.
I agree with the athletes who say that a boycott is not the answer. This is one of those things where people must make a visible and poignant statement to the world that the LGBT community is just as deserving of civil rights and equal protection under the law as everyone else. Perhaps this issue can also be a starting point for all the oppressed ethnic cultures still under the thumb of "Mother Russia".
British actor Stephen Fry makes an eloquent case for a boycott in his blog and I do see his point. It's giving a stage to a crazy man and an unfeeling country but things are different than they were during the 1936 Berlin Olympics. The biggest difference is the power of the press, not only the mainstream media but the independent folks who write about their experiences, the blogs, the podcasts that will surely take place despite how hard Russian officials will try and crack down on them.
So "Mother Russia" it is time that you put on your big girl panties and start promoting tolerance and respect for the LGBT community in your homeland. As a mother, I can't imagine taking my son and tossing him away like garbage or allowing him to be abused simply because of his sexual orientation. It is time that you started acting like a Mother and hold ALL your children close to your breast and protect them from harm.
However, this year I won't be watching them. I wish I could do more to protest your lack of humanity towards gay people who live in your country. I also don't believe you when you say that gay athletes will be protected from current anti-gay laws in your country. I can't think of a time in recent Russian history except under the rule of Gorbachev, where gays have not been tormented but now you've turned it in to a law that says it's ok to harm people who are gay.
I'm not surprised that this type of action has been taken or that this type of action is being condoned by Russian leadership. The new Russia, its predecessor the USSR and prior to that Czarist Russia, all have well documented histories of genocides of people who fail to conform, either as individuals or whole segments of specific cultures. If people don't agree with us, it's "off with their heads"!
I'm not sure how all these incarnations of Russia have been able to survive this long without tearing itself apart...oh wait...they haven't. When you look at your history, you can see where the people that you have oppressed have risen up against you, violently, and made sweeping changes to the status quo. Admittedly, not all these changes have been good and most of them led to other, larger uprisings.
However, today the world is watching you. Activists from inside Russia, at much great danger to themselves are working diligently to show the world just what is going on inside Russia. They are being aided by activists outside Russia in ensuring that pressure is brought to bear not only on Russia but on the International Olympic Committee to ensure that gay athletes are not incarcerated because of this ignorant law.
I agree with the athletes who say that a boycott is not the answer. This is one of those things where people must make a visible and poignant statement to the world that the LGBT community is just as deserving of civil rights and equal protection under the law as everyone else. Perhaps this issue can also be a starting point for all the oppressed ethnic cultures still under the thumb of "Mother Russia".
British actor Stephen Fry makes an eloquent case for a boycott in his blog and I do see his point. It's giving a stage to a crazy man and an unfeeling country but things are different than they were during the 1936 Berlin Olympics. The biggest difference is the power of the press, not only the mainstream media but the independent folks who write about their experiences, the blogs, the podcasts that will surely take place despite how hard Russian officials will try and crack down on them.
So "Mother Russia" it is time that you put on your big girl panties and start promoting tolerance and respect for the LGBT community in your homeland. As a mother, I can't imagine taking my son and tossing him away like garbage or allowing him to be abused simply because of his sexual orientation. It is time that you started acting like a Mother and hold ALL your children close to your breast and protect them from harm.
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
Whining get's you nowhere...
There are times when stuff like this alternates between ticking me off and getting a well deserved "huzzah" for an important life lesson.
This particular situation got a "huzzah" for some great life lessons. You may have seen the dust up about the 12 year old Jeopardy contestant who felt he was "cheated" when he misspelled the correct answer on his Jeopardy final round. If you didn't you can read about it here.
In any game show, contestants are given a thorough explanation of what the rules are. I'm sure in this case, the rules were explained in such a way that a 12 year old could comprehend. I'd be willing to bet that they even did mock game runs to ensure the kids understood the rules as they are implemented in the game.
The young man in question was in second place, had zero hope of winning because he was far enough behind the leader that even if he had bet it all, he still wouldn't have won. (The leader amassed a $66,000 lead to his $9,600 end amount) As it was, the leader bet big thus ensuring his victory.
After his answer was disqualified due to it's misspelling, the boy later went on to state that he felt cheated because he had the correct answer and it was just a simple spelling error. It would seem that the Twitterverse was on his side as well, calling out Alex Trebek and the show in general for penalizing a kid over a spelling error. I disagree with with them and here's why.
1. There are times when you don't have SpellCheck available and you must know how to spell the words yourself. The over reliance on spellcheck by people has left this blogger in a tizzy at times because while a word may be spelled correctly, it's not the right word (think to, too and two). The lesson...you have to know how to spell and you must check your work. Always. Spelling counts. Always. Even as an adult educator, I tell anyone who does work for me that spelling does count. It can make a huge difference in how a sentence is given context within the rest of the paper. Growing up means that you have to understand the importance of being detail oriented in the work that you present to others. I've had students write great papers conceptually, but their execution was so poor that I wondered if this person would ever be able to get a job that didn't include the phrase "do you want fries with that?".
2. Learn how to lose gracefully. Not everyone gets to be number 1. The cliche that fits this one is "it's not whether you win or lose, but how you play the game." You were outplayed, simple as that. Given the disparities in the final money amounts, there was no way you could have won anyways. You don't have to like losing and I hope this spurs you on to greatness but whining about being cheated when you knew the rules ahead of time is just a case of sour grapes. The lesson...learning how to lose gracefully means you don't blame others for things YOU did. I promise you that this will not be the only time that you will feel cheated about something.
3. Don't settle for wanting to be rewarded for mediocrity. You may have felt cheated but what you were really asking for is to be rewarded for being mediocre. I hope that your parents will have a chat with your about always doing your absolute best in any situation. One shouldn't be rewarded for putting a 95% effort in. (But you did since you still went home with $2,000 anyways).
To the young man I would tell him that in the scheme of things, he had a chance to learn some great life lessons and that I hope that this small moment in his early life doesn't define the person he will grow to become. He can choose to feel cheated or he can take the life lessons and run with them, becoming a better man for it in the end.
This particular situation got a "huzzah" for some great life lessons. You may have seen the dust up about the 12 year old Jeopardy contestant who felt he was "cheated" when he misspelled the correct answer on his Jeopardy final round. If you didn't you can read about it here.
In any game show, contestants are given a thorough explanation of what the rules are. I'm sure in this case, the rules were explained in such a way that a 12 year old could comprehend. I'd be willing to bet that they even did mock game runs to ensure the kids understood the rules as they are implemented in the game.
The young man in question was in second place, had zero hope of winning because he was far enough behind the leader that even if he had bet it all, he still wouldn't have won. (The leader amassed a $66,000 lead to his $9,600 end amount) As it was, the leader bet big thus ensuring his victory.
After his answer was disqualified due to it's misspelling, the boy later went on to state that he felt cheated because he had the correct answer and it was just a simple spelling error. It would seem that the Twitterverse was on his side as well, calling out Alex Trebek and the show in general for penalizing a kid over a spelling error. I disagree with with them and here's why.
1. There are times when you don't have SpellCheck available and you must know how to spell the words yourself. The over reliance on spellcheck by people has left this blogger in a tizzy at times because while a word may be spelled correctly, it's not the right word (think to, too and two). The lesson...you have to know how to spell and you must check your work. Always. Spelling counts. Always. Even as an adult educator, I tell anyone who does work for me that spelling does count. It can make a huge difference in how a sentence is given context within the rest of the paper. Growing up means that you have to understand the importance of being detail oriented in the work that you present to others. I've had students write great papers conceptually, but their execution was so poor that I wondered if this person would ever be able to get a job that didn't include the phrase "do you want fries with that?".
2. Learn how to lose gracefully. Not everyone gets to be number 1. The cliche that fits this one is "it's not whether you win or lose, but how you play the game." You were outplayed, simple as that. Given the disparities in the final money amounts, there was no way you could have won anyways. You don't have to like losing and I hope this spurs you on to greatness but whining about being cheated when you knew the rules ahead of time is just a case of sour grapes. The lesson...learning how to lose gracefully means you don't blame others for things YOU did. I promise you that this will not be the only time that you will feel cheated about something.
3. Don't settle for wanting to be rewarded for mediocrity. You may have felt cheated but what you were really asking for is to be rewarded for being mediocre. I hope that your parents will have a chat with your about always doing your absolute best in any situation. One shouldn't be rewarded for putting a 95% effort in. (But you did since you still went home with $2,000 anyways).
To the young man I would tell him that in the scheme of things, he had a chance to learn some great life lessons and that I hope that this small moment in his early life doesn't define the person he will grow to become. He can choose to feel cheated or he can take the life lessons and run with them, becoming a better man for it in the end.
Monday, August 5, 2013
I liked Expendables 2...I'm sure I am in the minority
But then I've always kind of walked to the beat of my own drummer so that shouldn't surprise anyone.
But it was Sunday and with very little interesting programming going on I decided that tuning in to Netflix would be a stellar idea. So I brought up my "I wanna watch this movie" queue and picked The Expendables 2. I had seen the first one and enjoyed it. OK, so it's not Gone With the Wind or anything like that, it's a movie that one goes to see, enjoys and most of the time, doesn't think twice about it.
I like the fact that the original had all these action stars in it so you know that there was going to be a lot of shit getting blown up and a lot of ass getting kicked. I wasn't wrong. So how could The Expendables 2 disappoint? It didn't!
If you saw the first then you know that some of the characters in there quoted some of their most famous lines...placed nicely throughout the script, it was a pleasant, self-deprecating way to look at the roles that got them their action star status.
The Expendables 2 did much of the same thing only better! More screen time for Bruce Willis, Arnold Schwarzenegger, a couple of cameo appearances by Chuck Norris, and Jean Claude Van Damme playing the bad guy this time around.
So here were the majorly funny parts...not just the quips mind you. In one instance Chuck Norris saves the day. Mows down 20 bad guys, takes out a tank and walks down the middle of the street to the theme music for "The Good, the Bad and the Ugly". When asked if he was the one who did all that he replies that yup, it was him. Stallone asks him to join their group and Norris tells him that he always works alone and Stallone quips "yeah, I heard you're kind of a lone wolf" and of course with all the Chuck Norris jokes out there, they had to crack one about Chuck being bit by a King Cobra to which Norris replies, "yes but after 5 pain filled days, the cobra finally died". Loved it!
And let's not forget some really great fight scenes. Jason Statham has two excellent ones and we see Jet Li in the first 10 minutes of the movie kicking a couple of guys asses with frying pans...FRYING PANS people!! But the one fight scene I wanted to see was something with Van Damme in it. He's known for his epic roundhouse kicks in which he seems to get about 6 feet off the ground and just connect with someones head and he did...twice...to Stallone's head. The dude has springloaded feet, I swear he does!!
Would I have paid to go see this in the theater...probably if I had the cash to spare but I didn't. But I did enjoy the movie quite a bit; loved the fight scenes and all the shit blowing up but I think best of all was just all the funny quips about themselves and each other. Favorite quotes came from Arnold...In the middle of a firefight, Norris pops up again and saves the day...Arnold sees who it is and quips, "who's going to show up next? Rambo?" In another, Arnold tells Bruce that "I'll be back" Bruce tells him to stay put and runs off to get the SMART car, Arnold pops his head up to provide cover fire for him and says "Yippe kay ay". And who would have thought that Arnold AND Bruce Willis could fit in a SMART car? Not me...of course Arnold quips that he "has shoes bigger than this" and they proceed to drive around in a SMART car inside the bad guys airport shooting everything that moves...funny stuff right there!
If you have Netflix, watch it...it's a great movie to pass the evening away and listening to the dialogue between all the stars is comical!
Watch it!....go...watch it!
But it was Sunday and with very little interesting programming going on I decided that tuning in to Netflix would be a stellar idea. So I brought up my "I wanna watch this movie" queue and picked The Expendables 2. I had seen the first one and enjoyed it. OK, so it's not Gone With the Wind or anything like that, it's a movie that one goes to see, enjoys and most of the time, doesn't think twice about it.
I like the fact that the original had all these action stars in it so you know that there was going to be a lot of shit getting blown up and a lot of ass getting kicked. I wasn't wrong. So how could The Expendables 2 disappoint? It didn't!
If you saw the first then you know that some of the characters in there quoted some of their most famous lines...placed nicely throughout the script, it was a pleasant, self-deprecating way to look at the roles that got them their action star status.
The Expendables 2 did much of the same thing only better! More screen time for Bruce Willis, Arnold Schwarzenegger, a couple of cameo appearances by Chuck Norris, and Jean Claude Van Damme playing the bad guy this time around.
So here were the majorly funny parts...not just the quips mind you. In one instance Chuck Norris saves the day. Mows down 20 bad guys, takes out a tank and walks down the middle of the street to the theme music for "The Good, the Bad and the Ugly". When asked if he was the one who did all that he replies that yup, it was him. Stallone asks him to join their group and Norris tells him that he always works alone and Stallone quips "yeah, I heard you're kind of a lone wolf" and of course with all the Chuck Norris jokes out there, they had to crack one about Chuck being bit by a King Cobra to which Norris replies, "yes but after 5 pain filled days, the cobra finally died". Loved it!
And let's not forget some really great fight scenes. Jason Statham has two excellent ones and we see Jet Li in the first 10 minutes of the movie kicking a couple of guys asses with frying pans...FRYING PANS people!! But the one fight scene I wanted to see was something with Van Damme in it. He's known for his epic roundhouse kicks in which he seems to get about 6 feet off the ground and just connect with someones head and he did...twice...to Stallone's head. The dude has springloaded feet, I swear he does!!
Would I have paid to go see this in the theater...probably if I had the cash to spare but I didn't. But I did enjoy the movie quite a bit; loved the fight scenes and all the shit blowing up but I think best of all was just all the funny quips about themselves and each other. Favorite quotes came from Arnold...In the middle of a firefight, Norris pops up again and saves the day...Arnold sees who it is and quips, "who's going to show up next? Rambo?" In another, Arnold tells Bruce that "I'll be back" Bruce tells him to stay put and runs off to get the SMART car, Arnold pops his head up to provide cover fire for him and says "Yippe kay ay". And who would have thought that Arnold AND Bruce Willis could fit in a SMART car? Not me...of course Arnold quips that he "has shoes bigger than this" and they proceed to drive around in a SMART car inside the bad guys airport shooting everything that moves...funny stuff right there!
If you have Netflix, watch it...it's a great movie to pass the evening away and listening to the dialogue between all the stars is comical!
Watch it!....go...watch it!
Thursday, August 1, 2013
Writing is therapy
Being unemployed sucks. It really does. You are limited financially to the different things that you can do (either by cost to enter what you want to see or gas to get there) So for me, writing a blog has become a very cheap way for me to alleviate my daily tedium.
After spending a couple of hours trolling the usual websites for new postings, I have very little to do. What few friends I do have are working (and I wish them continued employment too) and so are unavailable for even the lamest of outings like eating sandwiches on the picnic table near the swimming pool.
But then I discovered that I have a lot of shit I want to get off my chest and a blog seemed like the perfect place to do that. First, because of the low likelihood of anyone reading this, I can be extremely opinionated. (Not that I am in real life or anything) Secondly, I could care less what people think about my opinion. Its just nice to rant like a madwoman for a few moments and get it off my chest as it were. Lastly, I have an opinion and it matters...ok, it only matters to me but dammit! I'm important too!
I think more people should take up writing. Can you imaging the reduction in stress if people were able to write about their feelings in a truly honest way? I have a diary that I write in as well. That's where I put all the really deep, personal stuff. But I can't help but wonder how much bad behavior would decrease if people had a way to say what they wanted to say without being censored by themselves or by societal standards (like the one about not hitting stupid people)
There is great joy, I think, in memorializing their stupidity either in a personal journal that you can donate to a library after your death for everyone to read or on the internet where nothing EVER disappears. There was a great line in the movie, A Knights Tale where Geoffrey Chaucer, a character who is a writer, threatens Simon the Summoner and Peter the Pardoner with "undying humiliation" by putting them in his stories. (Read The Summoner's Tale and The Pardoner's Tale by Chaucer and you will see that is exactly what he did)
I'm sure that I will be able to accommodate that wish.
After spending a couple of hours trolling the usual websites for new postings, I have very little to do. What few friends I do have are working (and I wish them continued employment too) and so are unavailable for even the lamest of outings like eating sandwiches on the picnic table near the swimming pool.
But then I discovered that I have a lot of shit I want to get off my chest and a blog seemed like the perfect place to do that. First, because of the low likelihood of anyone reading this, I can be extremely opinionated. (Not that I am in real life or anything) Secondly, I could care less what people think about my opinion. Its just nice to rant like a madwoman for a few moments and get it off my chest as it were. Lastly, I have an opinion and it matters...ok, it only matters to me but dammit! I'm important too!
I think more people should take up writing. Can you imaging the reduction in stress if people were able to write about their feelings in a truly honest way? I have a diary that I write in as well. That's where I put all the really deep, personal stuff. But I can't help but wonder how much bad behavior would decrease if people had a way to say what they wanted to say without being censored by themselves or by societal standards (like the one about not hitting stupid people)
There is great joy, I think, in memorializing their stupidity either in a personal journal that you can donate to a library after your death for everyone to read or on the internet where nothing EVER disappears. There was a great line in the movie, A Knights Tale where Geoffrey Chaucer, a character who is a writer, threatens Simon the Summoner and Peter the Pardoner with "undying humiliation" by putting them in his stories. (Read The Summoner's Tale and The Pardoner's Tale by Chaucer and you will see that is exactly what he did)
I'm sure that I will be able to accommodate that wish.
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